May 29: 1/3

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Ripley, are you even trying today?

1. Penates: Don’t Believe It! Ripley, ‘Penates’ isn’t a single god, it’s a class of gods, the gods of the hearth and home (originally Etruscan, assimilated into Roman culture).

2. Fat: Don’t Believe It! Fat Virus, Big Mac gene, it’s all the same–unbelievable nonsense.

3. Dog: Believe It! I’ll give you a pass on this one, Ripley. I’m not even going to look it up.

May 28: 0/3

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Ripley returns, making things up and making generalizations. Today he thinks he can call things whatever he wants:

1. Maximouth: Don’t Believe It! Yes, Dinesh can fit a lot of stuff in his mouth, but he is not known as ‘Maximouth’ by anyone except Ripley (and now his gullible readers).

2. Cellphones: Don’t Believe It! Nomophobia means, if anything, a fear of the law.

3. Onions: Don’t Believe It! One ancient Egyptian swears on an onion, his priest friend mocks him and writes it down, and now we’re told they all did this!

May 27: 1/3

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Ripley is not a genius when it comes to understanding motivation. Today we get:

1. Rommel: Don’t Believe It! The ‘one million’ is just a conveniently round number. More to the point, Rommel (like his master) was a failed artist and the piece ‘Rommelspargel’ was his attempt at a Cristo-like installation. Even the collaborator press panned the work, provoking a rage which ended in several massacres.

2. Doves: Don’t Believe It! Doves do not perform their ‘broken wing’ act to lure predators away from their young. Doves are, in fact, the depressives of the bird world; this is one of the many schemes in their bag of tricks to get someone else to do their dirty, suicidal work for them.

3. Pancakes: Believe It! All good Finns know the numerous delights to be found flowing through the veins of reindeer.

May 26: 2/3

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Ripley has been diving into some tome on 18th century Europe and fell for some of its ridiculous lies. To counter-balance this, he has had recourse to hard science. Today‘s offering:

1. Mont Blanc: Believe It! Is there anything Brian Blessed can’t do?

2. Uranus: Believe It! Better yet, verify it for yourself by learning some mathematics!

3. Flea Traps: Don’t Believe It! More generalizations: an anecdote about one woman using such a trap does not mean, Mr. Ripley, that all women did this, or even that it was widespread.

May 25: 1/3

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Let’s get down to business. Today:

1. Lentini: Believe It! Where a Lentini is concerned, you can expect anything–except the expected!!!

2. Sunflowers: Don’t Believe It! The absorptive powers of sunflowers is a myth. Nuclear governments want you to believe there is a pretty means of removing radiation from the environment.

3. Mayfly: Don’t Believe It! One phase of the lifecycle of the mayfly lasts five minutes.

May 24: 1/3

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It’s all believable, Ripley. A little too believable. Today:

1. Hippocrates: Don’t Believe It! Hippocrates didn’t make this absurd suggestion, it was an 8th century copyiste of his manuscripts who thought it would be funny (it wasn’t) to add this fecal therapy to the book.

2. Icebergs: Believe It! The lengths Newfoundlanders will go to for their vodka is legendary.

3. Woodlice: Don’t Believe It! Once again, Ripley makes the specific (one European) into the general (all across 18th century Europe.

May 23: 1/3

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Sometimes Ripley gets the facts right, but not the reasons behind them. Today:

1. Winking: Don’t Believe It! You could call this Old Pervy Flirt Condition. You could also say that Walking is a condition caused by putting one foot in front of another.

2. Grave Robbers: Don’t Believe It! This system was actually a sort of turnabout: the alleged robber would be shot and robbed by the family of the deceased.

3. Dandelions: Believe It! The secret that Big Rubber didn’t want you to know is out. The Soviets knew and had no vested interest in keeping it hush-hush for the plantation bosses.

May 22: 0/3

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On the surface, it seems that Ripley has dished up some pretty believable information today. Looks, deceiving and all that.

1. Bones: Don’t Believe It! Those whale bones weren’t found there, they were placed there by climate change denying hoaxsters.

2. Bath Salts: Don”t Believe It! They weren’t said ‘to ease nervousness and aches’. The actual claim was to ‘rid you of unsightly tumorlessness’.

3. Bulls: Don’t Believe It! Just like Cavebot, you’ve probably heard the color-blind myth about bulls your whole life. In fact, bulls have a heightened perception of annoyance; they know that the matador is trying to fuck with them, and this pisses them off. Thus, they charge.

May 21: 2/3

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I’d like to say Ripley is measuring a little higher on the truthometer, but today‘s results are only because he copped out.

1. King George: Believe It! A handful of families across the continent intermarrying to fill the thrones of Europe: you’re obviously going to end up with a few polyglot inbreds exercising their aristocratic retardation over their ‘subjects’. Believable and backwards.

2. Olympics: Believe It! Ripley, you’re not even trying: this should appear in your other strip, “Unbelievably Uninteresting Factoids”.

3. Pig: Don’t Believe It! The Mangalitsa pig has been victim of this ovine slur for centuries and it’s time to put an end to it!

May 20: 1/3

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Keep trying, Ripley. You’re closer to the truth than yesterday. Today‘s fare:

1. Sandwiches: Don’t Believe It! What about the sub sandwich, just one loaf of bread sliced down the middle? And since when do Boston’s Sandwich Courts have jurisdiction in other sandwich-eating lands?

2. Fingerprints: Believe It! The world of genetics is full of strange and wonderful phenomena.

3. Lincoln: Don’t Believe It! Lincoln only showed up to the séances because he had been told it was Poker Night. When he learned the truth, he simply shut his eyes and napped.